GWYGH, Ep. 002: Corporate Bling (Janine's Notes)

Last week, we watched New York Minute (2004) starring the Olsen twins. While watching the movie, Janine took notes on the plot as it progressed. Basically, these notes are a stream of consciousness as Janine watched this movie, some of it copied from messages that she sent Kate during her torture. 


  • Opens with a nightmare sequence in a hall that’s shaped like a clock
  • “Just a dream!”
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  • Wow andy richter is in this?
  • JARED PADALECKI?!
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  • Wow simple plan being cool, those were the days
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  • Snake gets into her shower
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  • Punk rock/prep twin dichotomy
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  • Calories on post it notes?
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  • “You’re a truancy officer, not dirty Harry”
  • Over the top movie plot, very cartoonish
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  • Redbull covers up coffee stains
  • “I’m in hell” same
  • Punk twin gets kicked off, prep twin gets mistaken as her so she gets kicked off
  • Skirt gets caught on the bike and rips off
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  • Andy richter. Omg.
  • His associate planted drugs on her?
  • Also bad accent
  • Just jump into a limo, sure
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  • Eugene levy’s cover of Bad Girl is the only thing I want in life
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  • Andy is apparently an adopted son of a chinese gang owner?
  • NEVER ACCEPT RIDE FROM STRANGER! HAHA!
  • They escaped through the moon roof
  • “I didn’t know you speak chinese!” “I didn’t know you know tae kwon do!” welp.
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  • Heel breaks so she breaks off the other heel, cause that’s how that works
  • She gets slushie all over her outfit
  • Falls into the convenience store toilet
  • She lost her day planner with all her money and her speech in it
  • Restore honor to family
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  • This movie makes no sense
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  • That dog is pooping on the toilet like a human? what?
  • Again, this movie makes zero sense
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  • “Do you have my microchip?” “Did you eat his chips?” “I will eat your microchip!”
  • Now jared padalecki is here. Is he a gigolo?
  • What’s an SD card hold in 2005? 250 mb??
  • Sexy music over kate and ashley? THEY’RE TEENAGERS?!
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  • Ronaldo is a good name for a dog
  • The dog ate the SD card
  • What the fuck they almost murdered that dog
  • “We need that dog. That dog is my life. And when he poops, that poop is my life”
  • There’s so much going on in this movie
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  • They flee the scene wearing only towels, then bob saget sees them in disgust
  • They buy I <3 ny shirts and red shorts/skirt
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  • He pulls her into the car, again, and she’s okay with that?!
  • Dog pees on him
  • The biggest sd card commercially available in 2004 was 1 gb. The average 2 hour movie is 1.5 gb
  • That SD card cost $500 by the way.
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  • “I didn’t get your name. Is it loser?” wow cutting
  • This is now a simple plan music video
  • She hands off her CD to the managers
  • “Nice packaging! We’ll give it a listen!”
  • It’s literally a purple cd case
  • Lomax catches her but it’s whatever, she gets out by saying “you might want to check your fly”
  • Of course she gets on stage with simple plan
  • The security at this concert is quite horrible
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  • “I’m looking for two girls and a little dog”
  • Then they fall into a sewer, and live.
  • “It’s just the water main!” it’s still NY.
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  • Dramatic irony - their dad doesn’t see them on the simple plan music video that’s televised
  • “White people are crazy.” yeah.
  • She drops the dog when she starts freaking out
  • A whole store sings the itsy bitsy spider to calm her out of a panic attack
  • “I’d like a more corporate bling”
  • She gets a makeover of course because everything works out for them
  • “It’s on the house”
  • Why? Why? WHY? Because she cried?
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  • “He’s gonna burn my book” “he’s not gonna burn your book. That’s censorship”
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  • Taxi car chase, eugene levy steals an RV, etc etc
  • random, out of place emotional moment between the twins about how they hate each other or whatever
  • Lots of sisters in pink to be seen so that they remember how much they love each other or something
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  • This weird andy richter accent is really awful
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  • He rides up and down cars with his bike? What? How? WHAT?
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  • She starts quoting Avril Lavigne because she can’t fake her sister’s speech
  • What is going on
  • “Can someone explain what’s going on?” this is the only worthwhile part of the play
  • Weird guy who’s been bumping into her all day is back
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  • Now she’s been signed and is being recorded and is going on tour, because that’s how this works