GWYGH, Ep. 007: Tacky No-No (Janine's Notes)

In our last episode, we watched Cow Belles (2006), starring the Michalka sisters. While watching the movie, Janine took notes on the plot as it progressed. Basically, these notes are a stream of consciousness as Janine watched this movie.

  • I love when I start a movie for this podcast and see awful film quality, that’s how you know it’s going to be good
  • Starts off with the girl (Taylor) doing her driving test
  • Sorry Miss Callum, no music. I’m sorry, isn’t that one of the rules of the road, the driver controls the radio? Not during your driving test, no.
  • She starts complimenting the driving test instructor.
  • Passes her dad’s factory, then gets a phone call, and the instructor tells her not to answer, but she pulls over and answers anyway, because it’s her sister, Courtney
  • Every year they divide up colors, actors, fragrances or whatever so they don’t fight, but she lets her sister wear an orange dress because it’s for her cotillion
  • She almost fails her driving test because the instructor says she isn’t focused enough, but she threatens to come back every day and request him if he doesn’t pass her
  • Her dad is really into butterflies, like butterflies everywhere in his office
  • Gold spotted skipper, the most elusive butterfly of all
  • His business partner gives Mr. Callum the ticket to go find the butterfly of his dreams
  • They abandoned their house worker at the grocery store, expecting her to get home with the groceries via taxi
  • She buys a custom wrap for her car and brags it’s only $200
  • Taylor’s dad gets their mom’s old car refurbished for them to use
  • They have to learn to drive stick first
  • Omg he’s holding a lil peeg
  • THAT PIG IS SO CUTE
  • This dude is going to teach Taylor how to drive stick
  • I don’t drive stick, but watching this is painful
  • She finally figures it out, and jackson makes her stop the truck so he can go check on Martha - I’m guessing Martha is a cow - yeah she’s a cow
  • That is NOT a pregnant cow, not big enough
  • Omg she didn’t put on the parking brake and the truck is going towards the lake
  • “I killed your truck” omfg
  • “Daddy will totally pay to haul it out of there and get it out of there, don’t worry” but it’s like $2.5k so it’s not gonna happen, probably
  • “You both seem to think I’ve got a money tree growing in the backyard”
  • The dad wants them to stop spending money
  • The budget for the cotillion is TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS. ACTUAL AMERICAN DOLLARS. That’s like 3 times what I spent on my WEDDING.
  • They leave the stove on . . . and a rag goes over the fire . . . that house is gone isn’t it
  • Well, it’s not burned ENTIRELY down, at least - just the kitchen stove area
  • The dad at least admits he did nothing to make the daughters learn responsibility
  • Now they have to get a summer job! The horror
  • They have to work at the dairy he owns, 7 am to 3 pm, he cancelled their credit cards and revoked their allowance, he wants them to learn how to work for what they want
  • Lol their dad wakes them up via bugle, but you can tell it’s done over in post
  • Courtney wears like . . . a qipao (traditional chinese dress) top… to the dairy farm…
  • Well they only have to work on the production line . . . at least not on the farm, i know factory work is hard but not that bad.
  • They’re mortified by wearing a lab coat
  • Paris and Nicole put these girls to shame
  • They lose their cell phone in the yogurt, but they lost track of which tub
  • Taylor calls Courtney to find out which tub the cell phone landed in
  • They lost four minutes of production time, but Taylor says they can ramp it up a bit to make back to schedule
  • Aren’t there usually freshness seals over the yogurt before the regular lid goes on?
  • They walk into the cafeteria but no one wants to sit with them
  • Taylor wants Courtney to ask this French exchange worker to her cotillion
  • The factory workers put on a bluegrass jam in the cafeteria which is awesome
  • Lead by Sheila McCarthy, who’s a singer, so I guess this had to happen
  • The girls want to be backup singers, but they get told “this is for REAL working folk”
  • They slip and fall with all this blueberry to put in the yogurt because they’re wearing HEELS on a factory floor
  • Courtney and Taylor get excited because they did their own laundry
  • They find out that they don’t get paid until the end of the week
  • They’re eating chinese food and drinking soda for dinner, so it’s kind of nice they’re not doing the whole “rich girls don’t eat” thing, probably since it’s Disney
  • THIS DUDE HAS A FRAMED PORTRAIT OF A HORSE IN HIS BATHROOM
  • Jackson is waiting for Taylor, but she fell asleep
  • Courtney gets in touch with the French exchange student by reaching out to his nerdy host brother
  • All the workers checks bounced, but no one knows why
  • The business partner is claiming Mr. Callum stole all the money on his trip
  • The girls try to convince everyone to go back to work even though they won’t get paid, then mess up and press a button making milk or water sprays all over them
  • They go to Bob (the business partner), he’s not in his office
  • Oh yeah, that’s what I’d do if I framed my business partner for fraud and then skipped town - I’d make sure to throw a framed picture of us into the trash so people know where I stand
  • The girls figure it out pretty quickly, they go to their supervisor (Shelia McCarthy) and she and her husband agree, because Bob was mad Mr. Callum wouldn’t sell the dairy to Old Man Ketchum
  • You know, even though it’s still a movie about rich girls, at least they’re not like living in LA or anything? They’re supposed to be country girls. So that’s a little refreshing, I guess
  • They put the kids to work making pizza, which is cute
  • The kids are all planning for the cotillion, and Courtney puts her foot down about keeping to the budget
  • Two days at the factory and they’re finally realizing that things are expensive
  • Taylor wants to use her allowance to cover the worker’s salaries, but Courtney is mad because she wants to have an awesome cotillion
  • Taylor tricks Courtney to go out to the car as the factory workers are having a big meeting, probably so she can offer to pay everyone’s checks
  • Courtney throws a fit because she really wanted that money, even though some of those people would lose their houses if they don’t get their checks
  • Martha is giving birth! Taylor is convinced that Martha is nervous because a bull is nearby and she wants privacy
  • But like, really, this is gross, but bulls will mount cows giving birth and endanger the baby, so… that’s probs why Martha is nervous
  • That’s not what a baby cow looks like - they wouldn’t stand up that fast and they don’t have that long of hair
  • Courtney leaves a passive aggressive sign for Taylor, saying to “forget she exists”
  • Courtney is supposed to reset the expiration date but did it wrong
  • That chihuahua is wearing a bikini…
  • Taylor sells her mom’s restored car to buy milk for the farm, since the milk expired due to Bob not taking care of it
  • Courtney offers to use the rest of her party money to help out, but they’re still $1,000 short, so she’s going to return her cotillion dress.
  • They have a party at the country club, and the cotillion girls make fun of Courtney, but she gets to dance with the french exchange student, so whateva
  • The expiration date comes back to bite her in the ass, all the products were marked as expired so no one would pick it up, so they decide to work double time to make a whole new inventory
  • Courtney goes to the cotillion to see if she can find volunteers for the dairy farm
  • The cotillion people show up to help! And her dad shows up! Yay all is well
  • Then they dance in front of the dairy farm, with Sheila McCarthy singing
  • The singing is getting a little irritating, she’s had like three dedicated scenes to her singing, at first it wasn’t so bad since she’s still a pretty good actress, but then it’s like… really, another song?
  • The family has to cut their budget, which Courtney isn’t too excited about, but they both decide to do what they can
  • They start going back to work because that will help them not think about going to the mall haha
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