GWYGH, Ep. 012: Bazinga Boy (Janine's Notes)

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When Janine watches a movie, she takes notes as it progresses. The following is a collection of her thoughts as she was watching Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius (2001) for the episode with The Equalizers podcast. 

  • Nickelodeon movies intro is kind of cute, with the dog Goddard
  • Opening credits is bare bones! Just white credits on a black screen until it opens with a military complex
  • “Colorado Tracking Station”
  • UGHHH the animation is so smooth and creepy looking
  • Apparently there’s something on the radar that isn’t theirs, so they send planes out after it
  • It’s Jimmy and Carl with Goddard in a homemade rocket ship
  • “Hi, Nice Antiques!” okay Jimmy calm down
  • They’re deploying a satellite, which is a toaster
  • “Sorry about the toast, I made it in the oven because I can’t find the toaster anywhere”
  • HAH I had forgotten about the weird “think” sequences -- basically, the camera goes into Jimmy’s ears and to his brain where he comes up with a solution
  • They use a can of soda to give the toaster enough speed to go into space
  • Jimmy used the thread of Carl’s shirt for the toaster satellite, but his shirt comes back because… it’s a cartoon, don’t think about it
  • He ejects carl out in his own parachute, and then makes a bumpy landing back to his house (destroying roofs on his way)
  • Apparently he had to launch a communications satellite because he received a garbled message from space
  • “Jimmy! We’ve repeatedly told you not to talk to strangers!” hahahah
  • He gets dressed via robots, including a laser toothbrush and “robo barber prototype” it’s like a character hair customization screen haha
  • HE EVEN HAS A SHOE BOT
  • Do some things for yourself kid!!
  • He misses the bus because the bot tied his shoelaces together
  • Goddard apparently poops nuts and bolts
  • He’s going to try out the super bubble gum mobile - it’s a test run
  • He chews a piece of gum, blows a big bubble and then enters it - bouncing to school
  • The song in the background is… not good
  • “Nice invention NERDTRON” oooh burn!!!!
  • He runs into a tree which pops his bubble -- turns out Carl is stuck in that same tree!
  • Cindy, Neutron’s female rival, gives a presentation about dinosaurs and how girl dinosaurs were better than boy dinosaurs?
  • Their teacher is like a bird hybrid?
  • “This is the seventh week in a row you’ve shown Ultra Lord for class!”
  • Just a note, I don’t think I ever had show and tell for class?
  • “Hey Jimmy, wanna see a frog?” “That looks great, Carl.” so supportive
  • Carl presents his inhaler for show and tell
  • Nick, the bad boy of the class, shows up… sucking a lollipop as if he’s smoking a cigarette haha
  • So I paused the movie to see what’s written on the chalkboard. Their vocabulary words are:

  • Independence (freedom from control)

  • Lipstick (cosmetic applied to the lips)

  • Tempestuous (characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion)

  • Phototropism (the orientation of a plant or other organism in response to light)

  • Fancy pants (superior or high class in a pretentious way)

  • Diversion (distraction or redirection)

  • Affable (friendly or good natured)

  • Defenestration (throwing someone out a window)

  • Weird selection of words…
  • There’s also the “Fritz Schoenig Theory,” which apparently is usually on the board in the series
  • Nothing comes up with that name specifically, but a “F.C. Schoenig” is cited as the author in several studies on Gamma radiation and nuclear testing - his name is Frederick and Fritz is sometimes short for Frederick and I’ve officially put too much thought into this
  • Jimmy Neutron shows off his new invention - the shrink ray
  • It doesn’t work in the show and tell
  • It adjusts in his backpack and ends up turning the teacher into the size of an ant - she now has to fight a worm from the apple on her desk using a toothpick
  • Sheen sees a flyer for Retroland, which appeals to all three of them in different ways - Ultralord for Sheen, Petting Zoo for Carl, and the grand opening for Jimmy Neutron
  • Their parents won’t let them stay after dark, so Nick comes by and tells them to sneak out
  • Neutron cites a study about positive reinforcement and monkeys to come to the decision to butter up their parents in order to get away with sneaking out
  • He decides to use a jet pack to go home but he’s unable to control it very well - but gets the hang of it and sees a pearl necklace - then steals a few oysters from a local oyster bar, some coal from a train (whose conductor he apparently knows by name), and some roses from a local gardener
  • His mom is working on the car in the garage which is cool
  • Jimmy Neutron has a robot voice that controls his lab, that he’s named Vox
  • He apparently gives Goddard aluminum cans as snacks
  • Goddard “plays dead” by exploding which is cute
  • WHAT IS THIS AWFUL COVER OF BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE
  • IT’S SO BAD
  • Anyway, that’s playing while he’s looking over his experiments, including: invisible hamsters, girl eating plant, and a burping soda formula
  • Has not received a message back from the alien civilization
  • He puts some sand in the oysters, puts them in a microwave of sorts that advances time (WHAT?!!?) and gets pearls
  • He also turns coal into a diamond
  • “I’m just a piece of coal, but i’m going to be a diamond some day”
  • He tells her he can have the roses, pearls, and diamond earrings if she lets him go to Retroland, but she says no since it’s a school night
  • His jetpack misfires and blows him around the house - then sets fire to the curtains
  • The scene changes to show the alien king in his throne room
  • Omg, the orthgot is this fuzzy little alien and it’s so cute -- oh he just ate it
  • The aliens are like… clear eggs filled with green goo? And the green goo is their bodies, the eggs are just how they get around? It has arms and floats
  • They’re observing the toaster satellite
  • “Ooblar, stop it! It’s toast!” “Hello, Toast! I greatly admire your ship!”
  • It then begins a transmission from Jimmy Neutron
  • The alien sees the image of Jimmy Neutron’s parents and decides they look delicious, says “The search is over!” and they head that way - IN THEIR RUBBER CHICKEN SHAPED SHIPS!!!
  • “If all your friends were named Cliff, would you jump off them?”
  • Jimmy Neutron decides to sneak out! He uses his shrink ray to sneak out
  • He drops the shrink ray on the couch and his dad mistakes it as the tv remote
  • “It’s not like he can just walk right out the front door!” - Jimmy’s dad, right before Jimmy walks right out the front door ant-sized
  • Libby choosing a ringtone is so relatable. I remember going through all the ringtones and picking out the one that I liked the best
  • Cindy is doing tai chi and drinking Flurp, which she says will give her balance because the sugar content gives her energy and tai chi relaxes her
  • Sheen, Carl, and Jimmy make it to retroland!
  • Ultralord gives Sheen a mask and he faints from happiness
  • Carl gets to touch a llama! He gets a pin that says “I touched a Llama”
  • These rides are so cool, don’t you wish that festivals/rides were as cool as they are in cartoons?
  • Goddard is sleeping in Jimmy’s bed and impersonating him so his parents’ concerns are assuaged
  • Meanwhile, down in Jimmy’s lab, there’s an alert that aliens are coming! In their… rubber chicken ships
  • Jimmy’s dad (Hugh) and Jimmy’s mom (Judy) hear a noise in the kitchen; Hugh goes to investigate and the aliens abduct him! Then they also get Judy and fly away with them
  • “Wouldn’t it be great if all of our folks disappeared for a while?” - LITTLE DOES HE KNOW…
  • They wish for no more parents once they see a shooting star (which is really the alien ships leaving)
  • He has an alarm clock that’s like a rocket taking liftoff which is cute
  • Jimmy runs down to the kitchen and calls out for his mom - there’s a note on the fridge that says “Dear Son/Daughter, We have gone to Florida on an extended vacation. Love, Your Parents.”
  • All the kids’ parents “went to Florida” - there are no adults left within the city
  • The kids do stuff they want - getting a bunch of ice cream, playing arcade games, peeing in the shower, walking up the down escalator, wearing non matching clothes, NEUTRON GIVES CINDY THE GIRL EATING PLANT!!, and they have a whole bar dedicated to candy that the kids are at
  • The school is flooded (apparently their teacher was missed by the aliens since she’s still ant sized) so the kids are swimming around
  • He wakes up the next day on the steps of the school, like he’s hungover
  • “I’m stuffed now, I couldn’t have another -- oh, one more, and that’ll be it” Relatable
  • There’s a “kids” special report on the news
  • I think this guy is voiced by Billy West who plays Fry from Futurama! And turns out that he does multiple voices for the show!
  • The kids are upset because they don’t have their parents to comfort them or make lunch
  • Even Jimmy begins to miss his parents - but he thinks they just took off and left him without saying Goodbye, and then Goddard shows the clip from the night before when they wished him a good night’s sleep
  • When Jimmy hears his parents said “we’ll see you in the morning” - he realizes something is wrong
  • He is just now realizing the note doesn’t match his parents’ handwriting
  • He finally sees the long-range space scanner to see that the earth has been visited by aliens!
  • “Me, you, and a dog are going to battle an alien civilization… by ourselves?” “But he’s a good dog, aren’t you boy?!”
  • Hahahaha, I loved Carl
  • All the kids are marching toward Neutron’s house in an angry mob
  • Nick confronts him and says Sheen said that their parents had been abducted, and they’re all demanding answers - he brings up the star map to show them what’s up
  • Here’s a question - did they abduct ALL adults? Or just the adults in this town?
  • Why wouldn’t Neutron contact the government or anything?
  • Nick is ready to THROW DOWN with the aliens
  • “We thought the deep recesses of space could use a feminine touch” same though
  • All the kids are putting together rockets to take to space
  • “I’m 95 percent sure.” “And the other 5%?” “We blow up. But just a little bit”
  • “We’re the Kids in America” is playing… but, like, another bad cover
  • Well, thankfully, the kids didn’t all blow up, in their makeshift roller coaster space ships
  • And none of them have to deal with the void of space
  • And some of the kids are in spinny rides that just make them all feel sick
  • Carl is straight up eating toothpaste…
  • A meteor shower occurs and they get split up
  • Sheen is like… in his element though, as Ultralord
  • They take refuge on a moon
  • Nick is relaying the plot of Blair Witch Project, but the scary part to the kids is that the filmmakers are all scared and crying but they have no tissues
  • Jimmy is sad about being always made fun of for being short
  • “I didn’t think we liked girls yet” “Oh, we don’t! We don’t!” and Carl is scared of puberty haha
  • They’re all reminiscing about what their parents would do when they tucked them in - i remember quoting Carl talking about his parents going “Nonny Nonny Nonny” all the time when this came out (I was 9 cut me some slack)
  • They’re finally coming up on the alien planet
  • The scouting party goes ahead to locate the parents
  • They find the parents, who are all wearing mind control helmets
  • “Your dad’s like a mind-controlled duck man!”
  • The scouting party gets captured and brought to the king - who doesn’t buy Neutron’s threats of having an advanced army that will destroy the planet, because he’s already captured the others as well!
  • “Poultra is our god!” He has a tape about his god!
  • “This year’s Human Sacrifices feature something very special - actual humans!” what…. WHAT
  • The kids all get locked in prison until they’re old enough to be eaten I guess
  • Goddard gets taken into a separate room - they’re separated! Oh no!
  • This is following very conventional storytelling guides. All is lost for our heroes - how will they prevail?
  • “He’s not a doll! He’s an action figure, there’s a difference!”
  • I definitely identify with Nick and all his sarcasm
  • Cindy is being nice to Jimmy Neutron! Comforting him as he’s crying in his cell
  • She says that she knows they’re not getting out of this situation without Jimmy Neutron’s help!
  • Jimmy borrows Libby’s cell phone to call “a friend” - and then it cuts to Goddard in the other room, who’s tormenting the alien who’s observing him
  • He’s calling Goddard… it must be some sort of short distance radio connection?
  • He uses Goddard’s speakers to threaten the scientist alien with a 50 megaton explosion
  • Goddard finds Jimmy Neutron in the prison, but gets stopped by a guard! But no biggie because he “plays dead” and explodes, disposing of the guard (but no worries, not actually dead)
  • “It’s egg scrambling time!” All right Nick, we get it, you’re tough
  • There’s a big auditorium where a giant egg is on display - the human sacrifices are all being controlled and forced to do the chicken dance around it while the aliens watch
  • I remember thinking this was the MOST HILARIOUS thing as a kid
  • The egg is being incubated by flame, which is like, now how that works
  • Nick tricks by the guard by complimenting his spear and then stealing it
  • The kids follow Nick into the arena but just stay by the entrance while he runs inside - but he sees the giant monster and runs away screaming
  • Poultra is like, half baby bird, half giant lizard
  • All right, the “THINK, THINK!” sequence is back as Jimmy formulates a plan
  • “Sheen, ask yourself, what would Ultralord do?” and he’s suddenly up for the plan of course
  • The kids all fight, of course - with Libby using her headset on top volume to get one - Carl uses his inhaler to blind another
  • Jimmy gets the remote for the mind control helmets to get the adults out of the arena - and they’re almost cut off by Poultra until SHeen gets one of the large transport ships in there
  • We get a shot of Poultra’s giant butt as he falls backward on the audience, which is weird
  • They manage to get away! But the aliens are in hot pursuit
  • Now Ooblar is in charge, as the king is now in a bucket
  • “Ultralord is not afraid of chickens - okay he might be a little afraid of chickens”
  • “I may be small, but I have a big brain!” then he blows himself up to “Planet Sized”
  • He simply blows the alien ship away and sends it crashing onto a meteor
  • “You’ve not seen the last of us, Jimmy Neutron!”
  • The kids and their parents are all reconnecting!
  • Nick gives Jimmy his lollipop, but Jimmy throws it away
  • Jimmy meets his family again! And they all have breakfast the next morning, and Carl is scared of the boiled eggs
  • His parents are drinking Jimmy’s burping soda, for some burp gags that are… very much in line with kid’s humor