GWYGH, Ep. 005: Needs More Identity Theft (Janine's Notes)

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For her birthday, Janine chose the movie for Kate to watch. While watching the movie, Janine took notes on the plot as it progressed. Basically, these notes are a stream of consciousness as Janine watched this movie. 

  • Opening with a clock tower, nice -- shows the central theme of time
  • Old New York! Cool
  • Hugh Jackman looks amazing - and him being royalty just tops it
  • And Liev back there being super noticeable with his tiny camera
  • “My glorious erection” heh, heh heh, he said erection
  • OMG Liev laughed too. Hell yeah dude
  • Hugh Jackman, polite to the ladies even when he’s chasing down a suspicious man
  • “I don’t want him ready. I want him resplendent!” new goals
  • Leopold is hilarious, making fun of the horrible women he might be forced to court while getting ready in front of the mirror, haha
  • “Born into privilege, yet perversely ashamed of it.” Is Leopold #woke?
  • Kristen Schaal!!! She’s so young!!!
  • She was only 23!!!
  • Liev!! Wtf! Why would you just show up at a party all conspicuous like that?
  • You know Liev. You could just go to an archive instead of fucking up the past. I could help you
  • Question: Is there anything hotter than Hugh Jackman on a horse?
  • Maybe rain-soaked Hugh. That’s pretty hot.
  • So Hugh tries to save Liev from falling to his death, and Liev peppersprays him. Rude
  • Meg Ryan!!! She’s adorable
  • Oh, yeah, Leopold invented elevators, so now all the elevators start fucking up. Cute
  • Kate lives under Liev, so she hears him come home
  • Why does an apartment dog have a shock collar anyway?? Oh and Kate is freaking vindictive
  • They had dated for four years and only broke up a month ago
  • Oh, Stuart is his name! And he’s an asshole!
  • “You know what Stuart? I blew my best years on you.” “Those were your best?” Oh fuck you!
  • Meg Ryan does NOT look 40 in this movie. And Hugh Jackman was 33? Progressive lol
  • Leopold waking up is like me waking up after a college bender
  • “My eyes feel like steak au poivre!” I’ve never heard of that, I looked it up and it looks delicious.
  • “I feel as if I’ve seen her --” Holy shit, they actually did accurate foreshadowing. Wow.
  • Would Liev have survived that elevator fall, actually? That’s pretty far to fall
  • “Fine avocation for women, research. Perfect for the feminine mind.” Leopold confirmed to be #woke
  • “I myself once courted a librarian in sussex.” Oh Leopold. I love you.
  • Leopold looking super confused in NYC is exactly how I would look.
  • Viola Davis plays the police officer!! She looks so good!!
  • Omg! Natasha Lyonne! She’s so cute. She’s 22 in this role! Babyface.
  • “Roebling’s Erection still stands!”
  • Lol abandoned tatertots lying among the ice in Stuart’s freezer
  • “You’re a rarity among women, Kate.” “I’m sorry?” “You don’t cling to illusion. You don’t get caught up in emotion. You don’t do pretty.” “I don’t?” “You skew male. You’re like a man. A man who understands women, their desires, their needs. You understand them, but you’re not really one of them.” Dude JJ is the worst.
  • No wonder she falls in love with Leopold so quickly, when all the dudes in her life (save her brother) are bad
  • I find it hard to believe Liev has no head injury
  • Kate visits Stuart in the hospital to tell him he’s pathetic basically
  • Omg the way Leopold cuts up each of the tatertots is so cute!!!
  • Leopold explains the time travel method for movie exposition, but it’s done well.
  • Could you imagine cell phones not being allowed on hospital property nowadays? That would be torture! I wonder if that was really a thing?
  • That nurse takes no shit, she just knocks Stuart out when he’s being belligerent.
  • “the general of electric built [the toaster]” Hahah! Love it
  • I loooove the Leopold commercial scene. He’s so cute
  • He even makes an Elizabethan theatre reference, saying he should deliver the line like Hieronimo from The Spanish Tragedy by Thomas Kyd.
  • Kate’s purse gets stolen!
  • HUGH JACKMAN ON A HORSE IS 200% MORE HANDSOME THAN USUAL
  • “Give me your hand! Your hand, woman!” Would literally die if Hugh Jackman picked me up on horseback like that.
  • Now they take the horse and carriage! Cute
  • Hugh Jackman in his old clothing was cute. But in his turtleneck, he’s also VERY handsome.
  • Leopold is so embarrassed by Charlie’s acting hahaha
  • Charlie taking Leopold to a club is the best decision ever
  • “You look nice tonight. Like a Judy Blume book.” How is that a compliment?
  • All women are immediately charmed by Leopold, and honestly? Same
  • JJ is played by Bradley Whitford, and he’s very good at being an asshole
  • Leopold interrupts Kate’s dinner with JJ, and as an apology he writes her a letter, which is very very sweet
  • Leopold teaches Charlie the language of flowers which is awesome
  • Darci (Natasha Lyonne) writes Kate’s acceptance of Leopold’s invitation for her which is so cute and very in character
  • Kate and Leopold have their dinner on the roof, and it’s very cute
  • “Our love santa is caught in the chimney”
  • Kate: “People might think I'm brave, but I'm not.” Leopold: [quoting Thucydides] "The brave are simply those with the clearest vision of what is before them - glory and danger alike - and, notwithstanding, go out to meet it."
  • So cute. Omg. I love them.
  • Charlie asks, “Who are you?” “I am the man who loves your sister.”
  • Also, like someone wouldn’t invent elevators? Seriously? The world remembers elevators, they’re there, it didn’t destroy anything
  • He finds his uncle’s house and gets his old belongings out
  • “Sunday is the day before I work, so it gets poisoned” Kate gets it.
  • Leopold starts shooting the commercial and he absolutely hates the butter which is hilarious
  • He basically tells Kate that she must abandon working with this product because it tastes so bad, but she says he doesn’t understand -- and it’s true, he doesn’t
  • Stuart charms the nurse at the psychiatric hospital, which is very Liev of him
  • He gets out of the hospital! So how long has it been? His cast is gone? He’s just using a cane? But it’s only been a few days? HE FELL DOWN AN ELEVATOR SHAFT!
  • Charlie finds the photos Stuart took - “it was real. He was for real.” aww
  • And then!!! He sees a photo that shows -- well, it doesn't say yet, but it’s Kate. You know it is.
  • She notices elevators are working again! Oh and they’re named Otis because that was Leopold’s butler. Awww.
  • Kate’s going through the party and overhearing women and men talk about superficial things like micro face lifts and such -- which I think must be part of why she wants to go to the 1800s
  • Stuart: All this time I thought that I had pretzeled fate and that it had to be untwisted, but what I had never considered is that the whole thing *is* a pretzel. A beautiful 4D pretzel of kismetic inevitability.
  • The camera work is pretty good. She’s standing in front of the mirror, staring at her reflection, and then it moves to Leopold doing the same.
  • Lots of predetermination in this movie - she HAS to go back, because she’s in the photos, which means she has to stay there. Why? If time is a pretzel, why does anyone have to do anything?
  • She’s nervous about crossing the girder on the brooklyn bridge, so Stuart says, “You love him, right?” “Yeah.” “That’s all you need to know.” Um, yeah, but like, that’s dangerous. BUT at the same time, she knows she makes it, because there are photos.
  • Kate has a dress that’s supposed to pass for an 1800s dress, but I’m not sure that would be acceptable